Catching up...

I have a few posts to catch up on. Because this blog has taken the place of my scrapbooking and journaling for the moment I want to catch up on a few big and small events that have taken place in the last few months. More to come later...because now I'm off to bed. :)

Cambri is my absolute angel. She makes me so happy! She was a true blessing in my life. She has the happiest little spirit. She hardly ever cries, she goes to sleep like an angle, she just seems to love life and love all of us! Every single day I look at her and cannot believe she is mine! I can't believe I have my little girl. I am so excited and blessed to be her mom and hopefully her best friend someday like my mom is to me. You are my angel Cam!

Look at my TONGUE!

Cam has found her tongue! She is sticking it out all the time. It's hilarious' Sweet girl~

PIG TAILS!!

I know I am Crazy! But oh my gosh I can't believe I have a little girl that I get to doll all up and do her hair! Wait till she really gets some hair...the possibilities are endless!

Cambri's Blessing Day

Cambri's blessing day was wonderful! She was a perfect angle, even though she was coming down with RSV (which we did not know) She ended up in the hospital just a few days later. The day was great with lots of friends and family. Her grandma Kidman bought her a gorgeous blessing dress and mom bought her a special bracelet. She had white beautiful bloomers made special just for her with her initials on them. The most precious thing that accompanied her on her blessing day was the beautiful white blessing blanket that Grandma Chris made for Carter that got passed down for her blessing day. We all felt her presence and love with us so strongly that day. As I sat listening to the blessing I felt the warmth of my mom's around me and I know without a doubt she was there with me and my baby girl. Cambri's daddy gave her the most beautiful blessing. Both mommy and daddy both bore their testimonies, which have grown with the presence of our little girl in our l ives! We love you soooo much Cambri!

Thoughts

Lately I cannot stop thinking about my mom. It has been awhile since I have written about her. I choose not to go there most the time. It is too hard and easier not to. If I open the wound...it gushes. But I just cannot get her off my mind. So I opened the wound tonight. My wonderful neighbor girls Kirrah and Ashley are taking off on a little vacation and heading to St. George and staying at my dad's house for a couple days. As I was telling them all the "hot spots" to hit in St. George I couldn't help but think of all the places mom and I would go and how many memories St. George holds for my family. We have been going there for so long. So I started telling the girls about my mom. Showing them pictures. Talking about her. Showing them some of my most precious possessions that I hold so sacred. I have a drawer that is filled with things from my mom, things from the funeral, wonderful things, and really hard things to face, things I choose not to face. I never ever open that drawer and tonight I just wanted to share a piece of myself and my mom with these great girls. Sometimes I just want to be surrounded with anything that is her. Nobody around me knows who my mom is and what she means to me. I want to shout it from the rooftops! I want to talk about her...I want to remember her...I want everyone to know her. Just a couple nights ago fairly late I picked up the phone without even thinking and called my dad. We sobbed together on the phone wondering how our life has ended up in this place. The reality of mom being gone and leaving us needing her. My dad told me how much he and my mom love me. Parents are irreplaceable. I can't believe I somehow ended up with the amazing parents I have. Helps me to be a better mother. My dad is a great man and will be blessed for the things he has endured in this life. My head hurts, my heart aches, my body trembles with the love, respect and longing for my mom. I cannot wait for the day I can rest from those feelings and she can wrap her arms around me once again.

The many many days with that green thing!

Just want to let everyone know we did it! We are officially binkie free! I went away to girls camp and I came back and he hasn't even asked for it since (with one exception, but quickly remembered the stupid binkie was broken). I almost cried the first time I put him down and he didn't ask for it! I cannot believe I did it. I actually did it! I am absolutely over the stars proud of myself and Carter. I don't think anybody understands the degree of this accomplishment. HUGE! I must say there is a part of me that misses that green thing, it got us through many a tough days...but I am glad we conquered it. Now onto potty training and getting little miss to sleep through the night. Does it ever end...

Signing out a very happy mom!

DETOX Day 2

No Fun. I am having absolute regrets about this whole binkie thing! What in the world was I thinking. What's wrong with binkies anyhow. Yesterday was a cake walk compared to today. Carter has slapped me in the face, thrown his water cup at me, cried in his bed for an hour when it was time for his nap, and never did go to sleep (and I needed that nap desperately today!) However, I must say there is some good news in this posting. I am leaving! Right now. In minutes. I am headed up to girls camp for a couple days with baby Cam. All I have to say is good luck Jason!

Signing out...Detox Day 2

Heartbreak

I am absolutely heartbroken. We made it through the day and did really well. We even made it through our nap with no binkie. Carter really seemed to understand that his binkies have gotten old. He is extremely sad. Honestly his little face makes ME want to burst into tears. Bedtime tonight has not gone so smooth. He has been crying and whimpering for the last 30 minutes. I have gone in a few times to comfort him, he just says "I want my bibi". It's so sad. If Jason hadn't held me back I would have given him one! I finally sang him some songs that seemed to take his mind off it. I feel like a horrible mom who has just taken away his most prized possession. What mother does that!! Just need to remember I know whats best...or do I...what's the big deal about a binkie...why CAN'T he have one still??? Signing out not happy....DETOX DAY 1

Pictured: Carter looking for a "bibi" stragler anywhere he can think to look...

Binkie DETOX Day 1

Here we go...Carter would not stop asking for his binkie this morning and I am getting so sick of it. So I just did it! Ahh...what did I just do. I got some good advice from a friend in my ward so I think I can do it. We'll see.

So here we go Detox Day 1:


Oh my gosh, this is the saddest face I have ever seen. I want to run and give him a binkie so bad! I think this may be more of a detox for mommy!

Project 'get rid of binkie'....not going well...

Precious Moments

These are two of the most important people in my life. I love them more than words can describe. Since I lost my mom and my sweet grandparents lost their daughter our relationship has grown even closer than it was. My grandma has picked up many broken pieces for us and given us love and support. Whenever I have an urge to call my mom and tell her something cute the kids did or when I have questions about cooking or laundry, I call my grandma and I know she truly cares! My grandpa is there to keep us laughing! I love you both so much!

Eating My Toes

A Day of Flowers at Thanksgiving Point

A kiss for you...













And one for you!


























'Good Friends'





























A GOOD DAY WITH GOOD FRIENDS

Our Monkey

It hurts to be beautiful!

BAD HAIR DAY

Potty Time... Help!

How do I potty train my little baby?! Shouldn't somebody teach me or something. Isn't there a manual that comes with these kids' He's doing great. He has his little potty and he loves to go on it. He takes his diaper off and just goes. We have a huge party every time he goes and he gets a "pez". So basicaly he's doing great. He wears a diaper and just kinda goes when he wants to, before he gets in the bath, before bed...and sometimes other random times. I just don't know what to do from here. Do I just let him keep going on his own?...I have underwear and pull-ups that he likes to put on every once in awhile. I bought a book online called How to Potty Train in 3 days. Very strict plan, but I'm not sure how to do that with having to take care of and feed Cambri at the same time. And I'm not sure that is the best thing to do? I don't know...will it just come eventually? It's not a problem or anything, I just wonder if I should be doing something to push it.
Signed- Awaiting help :)


Calling to tell daddy we went potty!--------------------

Another success...

We are getting pretty good at this whole hospital thing. Pretty soon I won't even blink an eye. We had a successful episode Friday! Thanks for everyones support and advice. Carter did great' After a few talks with Jason the night before we decided it would be best for Carter and Myself if I stayed home with Cambri. I guess he thought dealing with just one crying family member would be enough. Carter crying AND ME crying wasn't to appealing to Jason. So I stayed home staring at my phone awaiting updates. Daddy did great though, it was over quick, and within a few hours he was back to normal! Now we are brushers and flossers and the next item on the agenda is project "GET RID OF BINKIE". I'm sure it will not go well but here's to hoping! Here he is in the hospital with his little scrubs on! Poor little nugget!

Here we go again...

So I guess we should move so we live closer to an aray of hospitals since we make regular visits there! Yep we are headed to the hospital again tomorrow morning 6 am! I hate it! I am sick to my stomach about it. This time we are going for Carter to get some dental work done cause he has loser parents that let him go to bed with juice for 2 years!!! And he takes after me and likes his candy! I'm such a loser, I know better than that. But regardless, I am scared to death. They have to put him completely out under a general anesthetic. So from what I am told...they take him back in a wagon through the double white doors and won't let me go with him. Then they put a mask over his face and 5 breaths later he's asleep...can you say awful!! I can't stop thinking about it, feel like throwing up. Anybody wanna tell me that I'm over reacting and this is no big deal!!