Another day I dread. I hate to say that because it is my mom's birthday. How can I say that about my moms birthday. The tears started yesterday and continued through today. Jason asked me what I wanted to do today and all I truly wanted to do was get in bed and pull the covers over my head. But when you are mom you never get to do that. So I got up and pushed through the morning. Our hospice nurse Larri became much more than just a nurse to me. She is the only person who saw what we went through and she herself lost her own son when he was 9 years old. Her son Trevor's birthday is tomorrow (the day after my moms). Since I cannot go to St. George to visit my mom's grave I go to Trevor's and visit his and Nurse Larri goes mom's. This year my grandparents (the best in the world) and Jenny came with me to the cemetery and we left balloons on Trevor's grave. I truly feel in my heart I know Trevor and when I see my mom I will see Trevor as well and know him. I feel he's an amazing person! I also have a tradition of buying balloons for each member of my family so each of us get to write a message on the balloon for mom and let it go outside. I want my children to know my mom and know their grandma Chris. We talk to Carter all the time about Grandma Chris. He says all the time she is in Heaven with Jesus and every time I hear the words they penetrate my soul. It is my mission to always know her as if she were here with me and to teach my children of her so they know her as well as they ever could. Another day, another year. I love you mom with all my heart and miss you beyond description. Happy happy Birthday!
Love Your
Shanny Babe
