Catching up...

I have a few posts to catch up on. Because this blog has taken the place of my scrapbooking and journaling for the moment I want to catch up on a few big and small events that have taken place in the last few months. More to come later...because now I'm off to bed. :)

Cambri is my absolute angel. She makes me so happy! She was a true blessing in my life. She has the happiest little spirit. She hardly ever cries, she goes to sleep like an angle, she just seems to love life and love all of us! Every single day I look at her and cannot believe she is mine! I can't believe I have my little girl. I am so excited and blessed to be her mom and hopefully her best friend someday like my mom is to me. You are my angel Cam!

Look at my TONGUE!

Cam has found her tongue! She is sticking it out all the time. It's hilarious' Sweet girl~

PIG TAILS!!

I know I am Crazy! But oh my gosh I can't believe I have a little girl that I get to doll all up and do her hair! Wait till she really gets some hair...the possibilities are endless!

Cambri's Blessing Day

Cambri's blessing day was wonderful! She was a perfect angle, even though she was coming down with RSV (which we did not know) She ended up in the hospital just a few days later. The day was great with lots of friends and family. Her grandma Kidman bought her a gorgeous blessing dress and mom bought her a special bracelet. She had white beautiful bloomers made special just for her with her initials on them. The most precious thing that accompanied her on her blessing day was the beautiful white blessing blanket that Grandma Chris made for Carter that got passed down for her blessing day. We all felt her presence and love with us so strongly that day. As I sat listening to the blessing I felt the warmth of my mom's around me and I know without a doubt she was there with me and my baby girl. Cambri's daddy gave her the most beautiful blessing. Both mommy and daddy both bore their testimonies, which have grown with the presence of our little girl in our l ives! We love you soooo much Cambri!

Thoughts

Lately I cannot stop thinking about my mom. It has been awhile since I have written about her. I choose not to go there most the time. It is too hard and easier not to. If I open the wound...it gushes. But I just cannot get her off my mind. So I opened the wound tonight. My wonderful neighbor girls Kirrah and Ashley are taking off on a little vacation and heading to St. George and staying at my dad's house for a couple days. As I was telling them all the "hot spots" to hit in St. George I couldn't help but think of all the places mom and I would go and how many memories St. George holds for my family. We have been going there for so long. So I started telling the girls about my mom. Showing them pictures. Talking about her. Showing them some of my most precious possessions that I hold so sacred. I have a drawer that is filled with things from my mom, things from the funeral, wonderful things, and really hard things to face, things I choose not to face. I never ever open that drawer and tonight I just wanted to share a piece of myself and my mom with these great girls. Sometimes I just want to be surrounded with anything that is her. Nobody around me knows who my mom is and what she means to me. I want to shout it from the rooftops! I want to talk about her...I want to remember her...I want everyone to know her. Just a couple nights ago fairly late I picked up the phone without even thinking and called my dad. We sobbed together on the phone wondering how our life has ended up in this place. The reality of mom being gone and leaving us needing her. My dad told me how much he and my mom love me. Parents are irreplaceable. I can't believe I somehow ended up with the amazing parents I have. Helps me to be a better mother. My dad is a great man and will be blessed for the things he has endured in this life. My head hurts, my heart aches, my body trembles with the love, respect and longing for my mom. I cannot wait for the day I can rest from those feelings and she can wrap her arms around me once again.